Why Facebook Is Killing My Self Esteem

Sometimes I feel super duper lost.

I have these moments when I should probably hunker down and try to write something – there are rare instances when I’m able to get a few sentences or paragraphs out but more often than not I end up lost in this spiral of self doubt and I eventually catch myself staring off into space kind of ilke this:

Self Doubt Cat

This is usually the point where I decide I need to chill out and take a break – maybe it’d be cool to see what the ol’ Facebook friends are up to.

This is never, I repeat NEVER a good idea. Because if you’re feeling directionless and unsure of yourself, there’s nothing like a Facebook news feed to defeat any remnant of your self esteem – all with not-so-smoothly integrated advertising.

Some guy you hooked up with like-maybe-once-or-twice just graduated from law school!

That one girl you used to do theater with is starting a yoga parlor, because apparently that’s a thing!

Four more of the evangelical kids you went to high school with are having babies! Yay for them and their functioning sets of reproductive organs!

It’s just so… GUH. I think I finally get why Facebook guy (RIP) was always looking so forlorn.

Facebook Guy
I’m not alone in this, right? Sometimes it seems like everyone is taking 2 steps forward and I can’t even convince myself to get out of bed in the morning. Although to be fair I usually wake up with 2 adorable cats curled up next to me and few people have the willpower to resist purring in unison. But the point remains – social networking is a really easy way to make yourself feel inadequate.

How can you compare to your e-peers when your triumphs are more trivial? Your old coworker may have just gotten into the grad program of their dreams, but hey. You picked out the right cardigan for your outfit today so… you know… high-five, you! Next step: take off that toenail polish you’ve been “growing out” for weeks now. It might look like Pangea but it’ll never get you as many upvotes as Bruno Mars.


I think you just have to find the good moments in your life and focus on those. The bright spots in my days are (unsurprisingly) food and animals. I bring in baked goods for my coworkers every Friday so there’s always a sugar high to close out the week – that’s nice. Also there’s this adorable dog named Asta who sleeps behind my desk at work all day. I made this gif out of a photo her – it symbolizes how I spend most of my days: sleeping or just spacing out.


I guess you also can’t expect that goals and success will just fall into your lap. You’ve gotta make outlines, to-do lists, and like… a vision board or something. Because if you don’t have an objective then you’re just gonna keep sitting around and whining about it. You’re probably gonna have to get off of Facebook too because, let’s face it, it’s kind of a bottomless pit of baby pictures, Candy Crush invites, and existential despair.

Y’all do know how to make some pretty cute babies though. Give your junk a fist bump for me.

More from Things I Think:

I’m a Premature Grandma & It’s AWESOME

Please Stop Yelling at Me / Alternative Catcalls for Suitors on the Road

Women and Peeing: I’m Kinda Worried About You (This post recently appeared on HelloGiggles.com!)

One Day’s Worth of Irrational Worries & Self Doubt

Lady Things That Confuse and Delight Me

And how about some of these:

Instagram Twitter Pinterest Facebook

About Schmal Talk

Nice girl, foul mouth. Writer, cat video connoisseur, chronic internet user.


  1. Erin, you are not alone in this.

    That’s exactly what i’ve been feeling this last couple of months.
    I work as a copywriter in an ad agency, and i’m constantly trying to be better. Trying to write more, to invent more. And is hard. So i do the exact same thing, i say to myself “why i don’t just take a break?” and i go into Facebook and check my friends pictures, and they are having babies, and receiving job promotions and getting scholarships to study abroad and doing all sorts of things that seem more relevant than any of the stuff i’m doing. And i wonder, what am i doing with my life?, am i doing my best? am i wasting my time? should i change jobs? should i go to grad school? what the hell i am doing??

    But you know what? Screw that. If we keep doing that we are always going to feel that our successes are trivial compare to others. I’m on my on path. And so are you Erin. I think the important thing is just to be a little bit better than we were yesterday. Maybe we are forgetting that we have all the time in the world to be who we wanna be.

    I don’t know. In any case, i think you are already pretty great Erin.
    And even if you haven’t achieve your goals yet, that cardigan is going to look great on you while you work
    to reach them.

    Keep writing and posting!
    Regards from the Dominican Republic

    – Jean

  2. I feel like Facebook has become a long drawn out game of oneupmanship…so I wouldn’t worry about your e-peers statusing about their pregnancy or their job promotion etc. they probably have no one to share their news with in real life…

  3. kris B

    Hey erin. I think i am …possibly in love with you.. just felt completely compelled to lay down my entire hand there..

  4. Will Fentress

    Hi, Miss Erin. If I may proffer, here. It seems to me that you do a lot with your life, yourself, so I’d like to think you have no reason to feel … “inadequate”, might a good word be? … in comparison to other people. I guess I wouldn’t know, since of course I’m just a random stranger who stopped by your blog and I am not a physical part of your life, but you seem like an interesting person who stays quite busy with life. You are quite witty, with your little quips here and there, thoughtful with your words and feelings, and very cute to boot. I suppose every human being is prone to self-doubt and feelings that everyone else is moving ahead of them from time to time, even famous people or those who have accomplished known incredible deeds of selflessness and bravery in their lives, but I hope I have administered a reliable shot of self-esteem to you with just this much. You seem like a very likeable person in several ways. So please, keep on being yourself. (In anything, you must be worth more than you appear to think sometimes; you already have a potential marriage proposal right then and there from the commenter above me, no? ^_^ )

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